OK, I chose the title of this topic to make sure that our girls* woun't read it. Now, you who opened this post must be a nerdi computer geek who knows nothing about women. So, here are some very valuable tips for you:

1- If you fall in love with a girl, you will never have her. (yes, I am sure).
2- Men love power, women love powerful men. Become powerful or die trying.
3- Never lie to women unless it is needed. But, when needed say what you are saying with maximum confidence. I repeat, SAY IT WITH MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

More will be added soon, I have to eat lunch now...


*: Hi Sima! what's up?

well, since girls have sneaked in here. I have to change my tips. Here are some new tips:

4- Girls are wonderful. Masi and Sima are even more wonderful.
5- I am a bad person and don't know nothing about girls. please don't listen to me.
6- Are you still not listening? Good! so I can continue...
7- Never date/marry a girl who has a younger and more attractive sister.
8- Never care too much about how you are dressed. Be casual and confident.
9- Don't wear pink, idiot!

Now that we have enough soosks here and we are sure that girls are not gioing to visit (Sima khanom va Masi khanom, salam va eraadat arz shod), I can continue the tips:

10- Never talk to girls about technology, computers, physics, cars, philosophy, guns and action movies. These things are boring to them.

11-If you want to impress her, tell her a story of the most stupied thing you have done in your life (oh, one day I was driving in winter with my left foot out of the car's window and ...) Girls love x-khol guys who are "alaki-khosh". They don't get attarcted to normal people who go to work every day and live a normal life.

12- When she calls you, it doesn't matter if it takes 5 minutes or 17 hours: the conversation has only 2 bits of information for you:
00- she is excited about something and wants to share it with you
01- she is sad and want your sympathy
10- she wants your attention
11- she has PMS and looks for somebody to fight with

All you need to do is to decode which mode she is in and act accordigly. In cases 00-10, JUST LISTEN, don't try to help her or solve any problems. In case 11, hung up immideatly.

13- Be nice to your girlfriens/wives and don't try to catch it when the do/say contradictory things.

14- If you see a beautiful and smart girl (this is like seeing a UFO, very rearely happens) admire her, complement her and adore her but DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH HER.

will continue later... need more coffee now

Thank you Sima jaan, Masi jaan and Mahdi for your comments.

To Sima: Thanks for the offer. I am altready quite satisfied with the beauty of my female friends and the benefits they provide
To Mahdi: God have mercy on you!!
To Masi: I am only tipping here, can't do nothing more!

OK, let's continue a bit more:

15- Never talk about your previous girlfriend(s) to a girl you intend to date or your current girlfriend.

16- Never ever ever ever compare your girlfriend with any other girl.

17- Never let your girlfriend pay for the dinner you had together. If she insists to contribute, allow her to pay for some lesser things such as coffee or dessert later.

18- If you invite a girl that you intend to date to dinner and she answered her mobile phone while you are at dinner table and talked more than 1 minute, dump her right there.

19- Don't argue with your girlfriend about stupied things that she believes in (faale ghahve, peeshgooye, aash nazri, sofreh aboolfazl, imam zadeh pashme shishe, etc.). Womem love such bullshit and even the most educated ones believe in these things. It's normal.

will be continued...