Thank you very much for translating my rules !

TWO WOMEN TALKING:
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Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I
mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I
think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I
think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could
easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I
was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent
my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to
take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms,
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to
fit me so much easier. ......................
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NOW TWO MEN TALKING
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Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.

News for nerds. Stuff that matters.

WHY I LOVE MOM

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting
late. I think I'll go to bed"




She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the
following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for
brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the
washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the
charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.




She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk
and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip,
and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.




She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope
and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.




Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution &
age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.




Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."




"I'm on my way," she said.




She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made
sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.




She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and
TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a
brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day,
straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most
important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of her goals.




About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in
particular. "I'm going to bed."




And he did...without another thought.




Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?




CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and they can't die sooner, they still
have things to do!!!!)

Listens in Life

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild (آرام، ملايم) heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!